How Adoption Blesses the Church

Usually Christians think of adoption as a way that the church can be a blessing to others.  Here Russell Moore describes how adoption also blesses the church:

Russell Moore from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Maybe the Sky Is Not Falling After All

First off, many thanks to everyone who has emailed, called, encouraged, and prayed for us this week.  After the dust has settled a bit from last week's news, we're feeling more hopeful, though nothing has changed as far as the suspension is concerned.

We have gathered, however, that this suspension is connected with political realities inside the country which should work themselves out before too long.  People who know more about this stuff than I do are expecting that adoptions should open up again at some point, though it's impossible to know exactly when. So we are sitting tight.

And we are seeking to be faithful and persistent in prayer.  The morning after we received the news of the suspension,  I sat down in the morning to read the Bible, and this was what I was scheduled to read.  A rather timely reminder to be persistent in prayer...even when a "judge in a certain city" is unwilling to act, we are still called "to pray and not to lose heart."

I also preached on Sunday and incorporated into the sermon some of what we've been learning.  It's the first time I laid out some of the theology of adoption that I've been reading and thinking about lately. Bethany said it was the best sermon I've preached (and having heard 'em all, she oughta know!)
If you want to listen to it, you can find it here ("The Burden of Anxiety")

So thanks again for your continued prayers and encouragement.
God has this thing under control.

This is Not the Update I Wanted to Write

We have received some very disappointing news. Yesterday we received an email from our agency telling us that the region we hope to adopt from has suspended all American adoptions. They have done moratoriums before but this one appears to be indefinite. The email seems to hold out some possibility that the suspension could be lifted at some point but there is currently no indication as to when that might be. At the moment they are not accepting American dossiers, which is particularly bitter since we just submitted ours to the agency so recently.

This is very difficult news for us and so if you would join us in prayer, we would be so grateful. We are focusing our Lenten prayer and fasting in this direction:

-Pray for the child we hope to adopt and the thousands of other children in his situation, for whom this decision has grave consequences.

-Pray that the decision would be changed and the suspension lifted soon. Not only does it appear to us to be an injustice, but as you may remember that typically when special needs children turn 4 they are transferred to an institutional setting in which they do not thrive and often die. 

-Pray for the other parents who in the adoption process who are hearing this news. We know of some who have already met their child and are now finding themselves in limbo.

-Pray for wisdom and discernment for us as we try to understand God's providence and seek his will in all of this.

There's a lot that we don't yet know about the situation, and so along with the punched-in-the-gut feeling we have a lot of questions for which we don't yet have answers. And yet we are seeking to place our trust in God's good and gracious sovereignty.

Speaking of which, someone shared this quote with us, and we are reading it and believing it with lumps in our throats:

“Life is not a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then finally to heaven. Life is a winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback. And the point of biblical stories like Joseph and Job and Esther and Ruth is to help us feel in our bones (not just know in our heads) that God is for us in all these strange turns. God is not just showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ.”
― John Piper

Happy Valentines Day

This is what I got for Valentines Day:

I arrived home from spinning class this morning to a beautiful bouquet of roses from my sweet husband. The boys made me a wonderful Valentines day breakfast...pancakes and fruit salad..yum yum!!!

Andy got a soy latte from Starbucks and a mushy gushy card slyly left for him on the seat of his car. Zach and Caleb both got donuts with pink frosting and white sprinkles. And our child in Eastern Europe? Well he really lucked out...he got an I-600a form!!!! (A petition for advanced processing of an orphan...filed through Immigration services) It was an expensive gift but he is worth it!! Another big step checked off the list. We have faith that next Valentines day we will be able to give him a donut with pink frosting and white sprinkles instead!!!

We had a fun weekend with our sweet friends Ben and Lin . They came down and stayed with us for two nights. On Saturday we all went down to DC to have lunch and walk around the National Cathedral. I had never been and it was really fun to experience it with the boys.

"I LOVE castles." ~ Caleb

While we were there, Zach lit a candle and we all said a prayer for his brother far away.

Andy got this great picture of the stained glass window...a picture of Paul speaking to Timothy- The words are a perfect fit "From a child thou hast known Holy Scriptures- Timothy."

We can both say with certainty that our process of adopting Timothy has lead us to a greater understanding of God's Word for us.

Loved this picture of Zach and Caleb captivated by the statue of a child:

We continue to be thankful for your overwhelming support of our family through this process. We feel wrapped in your love and prayers!

Happy Valentines Day

Dossier On Its Way

We've been busy the last few days.  On Wednesday Bethany went to Howard County to certify some docs and then to Frederick County on Thursday, after our notary public signing party, for more certifications.

Today I drove to Annapolis for the apostilles, which was a lot simpler than I expected it to be...and a great location.  What a great city!  Here's a picture I took right outside the office of the Secretary of State-the Maryland State House was completed in 1797 (but construction began about 25 years earlier, as the internet just informed me.)

Anyway, getting the apostilles done was no problem.  The hardest part was figuring out exactly how many documents we had (since, after all, it costs $5 per page).  After several counts, we landed upon 42.

Here's a couple pictures of the whole dossier, in all its apostilled glory:

At this very moment, Bethany is off making copies of the dossier and then she will drop it in the mail, sending it to our agency.  Feels good to have this finally complete.

Next step is to fill out Form I-600A with the US Citizen and Immigration Services: "Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition."

Looking at those pictures makes me feel accomplished.  But we're not done yet...(did I mention that we compile another dossier after our first visit?  This is just our registration dossier, another is required for court).  One step at at time.

Home Study Complete...At Last!

This pile of papers is our completed homestudy, which arrived in the mail today!  This is a huge relief because we both feel like for a long time, when someone asks "how's the adoption going?" we've been saying: "We're almost done with the homestudy."  Well, now we're done.  Really.  Look at that picture.

So now what?

Now we need to put this pile of papers together with another pile of papers to complete our dossier, and get the whole thing notarized (we have a romantic date with our local notary this Thursday).  Then, Bethany will take it to the circuit court to have it certified.  It would be far too easy for this all to happen in one county, or the county we live in...so of course she needs to go to Howard and Frederick counties to do this.  After this is done I will head to Annapolis to have it apostilled (certification that is internationally recognized).  Notarized, certified, apostilled...got that?

When we've done that we send the whole thing to our child placing agency in Arizona, and all the forms pass inspection by the agency, they will send it to the facilitator in Eastern Europe.

Moving along!  Please keep us in prayer during this process (and keep the process itself in prayer, as well).  As you can see there are many steps along the way, and each one has its own uniquely nerve-wracking quality.  But this is a big step, so we're thankful!

Idol Worship, Helicopter Parenting, and Adoption

I think it's Tim Keller who says that idolatry happens when we take good things and make them ultimate things.  Success at one's career is a good thing, but when it becomes an ultimate thing it makes people neglect their families, treat people cruelly, cheat, lie, etc.  Financial security is a good thing, but it can easily become the focus of our entire lives, resulting in greed, lack of compassion, and limited generosity.  Safety is good, but if it's all we care about it we might never get on a plane to go to Europe.

This makes me think that perhaps the more good something is, the more likely we are to want to turn it into an ultimate thing.  Like kids, for example.

Being a parent is so good.  All the cliches people say about how much you love your kids are true (at least most of the time, and particularly when your kids are asleep or being otherwise well-behaved).  Raising kids is so profoundly significant,  so deeply meaningful, so life-transforming.  It's truly an amazing endeavor.  It's easy to understand why it becomes the sole focus of many people's lives.

Perhaps this partially explains the phenomenon of overbearing helicopter parenting.  Having a kid brings such meaning and purpose into life, they might just be the perfect idol.  The heart of a parent is already so wrapped up in their child that it's not a far step to make their success, happiness, achievement the sole, ultimate focus of one's life.  It's actually somewhat understandable.  The only problem is that kids (or whatever the idol may be) can't, and was never supposed to, bear the full weight of our lives.  The parent who pours themselves completely into their children wonders what to do when the kids leave home.  The kid who was raised by two helicopters struggles for independence.  Idolatry ends up breaking our hearts since, as Pascal suggested, our hearts are shaped in such a way that only God can fill them completely.

Which brings me to adoption.  So far for me at least, this adoption feels like it might be the most important and weighty thing I've ever done.  It's obviously like having kids in lots of ways, but one thing it lacks is all the natural development and unfolding that is present in a biological pregnancy.  Every step along the way takes conscious effort and attention.  If we don't fill out forms and stay of top of things, the process stands still.  This combination means that it feels very important and very easy to obsess about it.

And precisely because it feels so important and requires such effort, I'm learning that adoption can easily become the idol that I worship, the "ultimate good deed" (Voddie Baucham) that will forever establish the significance of my life or justify my existence.  It's almost understandable, since adoption is, after all, a pretty big deal.  It's a good thing.  A very good thing.  Adopting matters.  It matters a lot.  But like any good thing, it can easily become an ultimate thing.

And, it just now occurs to me as I write, that when that shift to idolatry happens, the focus shifts to the self.  Idolatry is when we want a God who serves us, helicopter parenting occurs when a parent needs something from their children, and adoption obsession occurs when I forget that this adoption is not about me and my significance, but it's about an orphan who needs a family and a God who told us to help.