Book Recommendation: Adopted For Life

I reviewed Russell Moore's great book Adopted for Life in the Presbyterian Outlook.  Here's the link.  Then go read the book.

Is That A Light At The End of the Tunnel?

Today we have received what feels to be (long-overdue) hopeful news:

Our agency has informed us that a three-step adoption treaty ratification process is scheduled to begin tomorrow!  Our hope and expectation has been that this treaty's ratification between the US and the other government is a necessary step that has to occur in order for the adoption suspension to be lifted.  Until now we have had no sense of when that might occur, other than "soon."  So this is a great step.

In fact, our in-country facilitator is willing to receive our dossier to begin the process of translating it so that it is ready for submission.  Thus far our dossier has been sitting in our agency's office here in the States, so it is enormously encouraging that the situation has shifted enough that we were invited to send it over--it means our facilitator wants to get working on it so it is ready to go as soon as the way is clear.

We still aren't sure when this means we will be formally submitted, or how long the ratification process will take, and obviously we are painfully aware of how tenuous this process can be, but this is wonderful news nonetheless.  As Bethany put it, the doors haven't swung wide open yet but they are starting to open slowly.

Please join us in praying for continued progress.  And pray for Timothy!

Amy Julia Becker Speaking At My Church

If you're in the area, please consider coming to hear Amy Julia Becker, author of A Good and Perfect Gift, (a book I have praised already) who is coming to speak at Neelsville Presbyterian Church in Germantown on Saturday, May 26.   We'll have two presentations: "Rethinking Perfect Children" and "Loving Beyond Ability," with a lunch in between.

Books and lunch will be available...the whole thing is free.  You don't want to miss it.  Click here to register.

Also, feel free to tweet, share, blog, email, or otherwise tell people you know who may be interested.

Putting the Fun in Fundraising

One nice part of adopting is getting to know families who have adopted or are currently in the process.  It's great to hear and share stories.  One family we've crossed paths with is Steve and Aimee Gautreaux, who are adopting a girl from China who has meningocele and spina bifida.  Ain't she a cute little girl?

Today the boys and I spent the morning helping them with a big yard sale at the church to help them raise funds.  It was  beautiful day and a lot of fun--turns out the boys are very well-behaved at yard sales which, it turns out, are basically enormous toy collections.

Got rid of an old lawnmower that was taking up space in our teeny backyard! Score!

Good turnout!  You can't quite see them in the picture, but we also had some Reece's Rainbow banners hanging up, as well as some brochures..  Some people were interested and took some info.  Wouldn't it be cool if this yard sale ended up helping with more than one adoption?

 My favorite part was when one guy inquired at great length about a breast pump.  He then decided to buy it but wanted to assure us that he was planning on selling it, not using it himself.  Uh, thanks buddy.  We kind of assumed.

Elizabeth Clark stopped by and found these stylish boots!  

Looking good, Elizabeth!  

(Don't tell her that her mom brought them to sell.  

Maybe next time, Nina.)

It was nice to be able to spend time helping another family like this.  We've been so blessed and provided for by the generosity of so many people that it feels good to spend time helping someone else. 

Here's hoping that the Gautreaux's bring their daughter home soon!

Predestination and Adoption in Ephesians: A Higher Dignity

Some thoughts on adoption I've had in preparing for a class I'm teaching at church on Ephesians:

Ephesians 1:4-5 says that God "chose us in him before the foundation of the world...in love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ." 

First thought: adoption offers a very helpful analogy that helps us think about the much-maligned and oft-misunderstood idea of predestination, which usually brings to mind a scary, capricious God arbitrarily determining who will be saved and who will be damned, thereby stripping human life of freedom and dignity.  Adoption helps us see why this is a misunderstanding.  Predestination means that God chooses to adopt. 

I think of our own situation: long before Timothy knew about us (he still doesn't), we knew about him.  In love, we have chosen him and "predestined" him for adoption as a son.  This, I think, is something of an analogy (though very small and imperfect) of how God loves: long before we know about him or can return his love, God chooses to make us part of his family.  The good news is that God's choosing to adopt is far more effectual than our human choosing to adopt.  When God chooses us for adoption, nothing can stop him, there is no local government that can suspend adoptions and hold up the process!

Second thought, this from John Stott's commentary:
"God destined us in love to be his sons.  This expression seems to be the key to our understanding of the present consequences of our election.  Election is with a view to adoption. Indeed, when people ask us the speculative question why God went ahead with the creation when he knew that it would be followed by the fall, one answer we can tentatively give is that he destined us for a higher dignity than even creation would bestow on us.  He intended to 'adopt' us, to make us the sons and daughters of his family." (39)

That bold section is what caught my attention.  I can't tell you how many times as a pastor people have asked me this exact question: why would God create humans if he knew that they would fall into sin and screw it all up?  Stott's answer is intriguing: God's choosing to love us ennobles us and grants an even higher dignity than "mere" creation.  Indeed, God's creation is "very good" (Genesis 1:31) and something of his love is revealed in the beauty of creation, but his love and grace is demonstrated even more powerfully and gloriously in the beauty of adoption. 

Astonishingly,  that this determination happened "before the foundation of the world"--before he made anything, God knew that we would turn from him and reject him, but decided that he would adopt us back into his family anyway (and at great cost!)  The fact that God loves us enough to choose to adopt us grants us a higher dignity!


This passage articulates how our family's process of adoption has caused us think of God's love for us in a new way.  And it reminds me that though God is not pleased that so many children are without families (anymore than he is pleased by any other manifestation of the fall), but when families welcome children through adoption, it paints a picture of his great love. 

I only hope that our adoption contributes "to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved" (Eph 1:6), and that it participates in raising Timothy's dignity--and the dignity of orphans like him--as those created in the image of God and loved from before the foundation of the world.

In The Middle of A Story

It's almost been a month since our last adoption update.   On March 12 we went to get another set of fingerprints at the USCIS office in Silver Spring, and then received in the mail our "Notice of Favorable Determination Concerning Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition." (That's the I-600 form we applied for back in Feb).  So, at this point we have literally accomplished every piece of paperwork we can up to this point: we are totally ready to go, just waiting for the situation to open up!

It felt a little strange to be going to get those fingerprints with the dark cloud of the suspension hanging over our heads.  There was a grumpy little part of me that wanted to mutter about how much more fun that errand would be if things were different and it meant that we would be receiving our first travel dates soon.  Truth be told, finalizing these last little details is a lot harder now, since the suspension makes it feel like there's very little wind blowing for our sails to catch and keep us moving.

Still, we're learning and processing. Sitting in the USCIS waiting room, I thought to myself: "I guess this is what it feels like to 'walk by faith and not by sight.'"  It's not easy to keep moving forward when you can't see what lies ahead.  Coincidentally--or not--the Bible reading schedule I'm following this year has me reading through the story of Joseph and so I'm being reminded that often the surprising twists and turns of life are part of a larger story, a story that we can't see the end of because we're in the middle of it.

But, not knowing how the story turns out sometimes stinks.  (Do you think Joseph had some faithful moments of grumpy muttering when he was forgotten in prison for two years?)  We've been processing this in different ways: we've both been a little more generally irritable, I noticed that I was sleeping a bit more than usual, and Bethany described herself as feeling emotionally raw.  We found ourselves avoiding discussions of the adoption, something that has been such a major topic of conversation. Even when Amy Julia Becker asked me for some quotes for her Christianity Today article, I had to take a deep breath to respond.  Just ways of processing the stress and disappointment of being in this holding pattern, I suppose.

But then, we discovered the Hunger Games.

That's a joke, kind of.

I had put it on reserve at the library a few months ago (yes, there was a rather long line) and it came a couple weeks ago, and Bethany started channeling some of her anxious energy by furiously diving into these books.  Thank God for a little escapist young adult fiction to give us something else to think about!  It was kind of nice to get lost in a different story.

Did I say Bethany furiously dove in?  I mean it: she read the first book, and then the second.  And then the third.  Then she bought tickets for the movie (we're going tonight!).  Then she wondered what she would do having completed the trilogy.  Then I offhandedly suggested she read the Twilight series.  So she did.  All of them.  And saw all the movies.  And has developed a rather complex and profound theological reading of these teenage vampire love stories drawing on CS Lewis' essay "The Weight of Glory."  (I'll leave her to write that post.  Or book.)  All of this in just over two weeks.  I told you it was furious.  As for me, I've only finished the one book...what a slowpoke.

We've had some conversations with folks from our adoption agency who are encouraging us, and that has been very helpful.  We're continuing to wait, hope, pray, and manage our nervous energy through young adult fiction!

Thanks for the many of you who are praying for us, putting us on your church prayer lists, sending us notes of encouragement, and generally being kind!  Wish we had more to report beyond this play-by-play of our emotional state, but hopefully we will soon!  The story isn't over...

Happy World Down Syndrome Day!

3.21 is World Down Syndrome Day!

Christianity Today has a couple great articles on the subject.  There are lots of good reasons to read them, this one does a great job of describing the problem facing people with Down syndrome.

In a more hopeful direction, this one talks about ways Christian ministries are seeking to help, and our adoption even gets a shout-out!