The One Thing I Can Do

I have been feeling a bit surprised recently by the depth of emotions I have been having about this adoption. I assumed we would go through this paper work stage with a sense of great anticipation. Then, meet our child and be excited to have him in our family. We would know that we were strongly and passionately committed to him , but fall in love with him over time as we got to know him. As is often the case, things haven't been quite so cut and dry! What has been amazing to me is how he already has an important presence in our family. Not a day goes by when I don't think of him. Much like the experience of pregnancy I have already started to think of myself as the mother of THREE.

How then, do I go through my days as the mother of 3 when only 2 are within my arm's reach? I often wish that I could send him a cozy little hat for when he plays outside or a little satin blanket like Zach and Caleb sleep with. I just want to reach out in some tangible way and tell him that he is chosen, wanted, daily in our thoughts, and in so many ways already in our home!

I was praying about this feeling the other day and was overcome with peace about it all as I realized that I do have the power to send him the thing he needs the most...the best thing for him...

I can pray for him. I can pray that God would wrap His arms around him and help him to know the love that only God can provide. He may not understand it in his head but God has a way of speaking to our hearts and I can pray that God will help him to know that he is loved, wanted, and chosen not only by his family who he has yet to meet, but by God himself.

Is that not what we all need more than anything?

Is that not also the best thing I can do for Zach and Caleb? So that is what I will strive to do each day. I will LET GO and place each one of my three boys safely in God's hands because truly that is the greatest gift that I can give them!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!